One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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