That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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