Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
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Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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