I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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