I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize