She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize