Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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