yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize