It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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