she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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