Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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