My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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