You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize