I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize