Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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