i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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