after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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