Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize