Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize