I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
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I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you win again, gameday.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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