Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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