I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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