How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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