I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize