Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize