Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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