in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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