It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
