Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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