I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize