So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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