NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize