she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
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Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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