I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize