very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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