If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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