yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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