we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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