right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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