When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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