It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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