I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize