But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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