You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize