I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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