I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
