Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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