Small penises have feelings too.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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