when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize