I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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